Painfully

It hurts to sit, it hurts to lie, I can not find a place, I feel bad without you, sometimes I think I'm dying, there is not dying, just life stopped suddenly, somehow faded! It is no longer you and I went out of it, because you left me! I never thought this would happen, I never thought that it's so painful and sad. I am silent, trying to hide his pain, to hide. I do not know how I continue to live, not live there, I'll smile tomorrow, anyone? '' Do not love, never love ...''- pulsate thought in my head. Stupidly I look at the phone, and suddenly you are now called and matter-of-factly say, '' Hello, darling! '', And he was treacherously silent, some important, but do not call, I never calm, breathe evenly. Do everything exactly, but I'm not myself, I no longer feel. Trying to find an excuse, I am angry with myself, and to sense does not fix anything.
You began to take drugs, how could you betray me, our love. I want to hate you, I want to go away, to forget you, your kisses, your gentle hands, your passionate declarations of love. But it is not terrible, but I need you, I'll sit very quietly, I will not get involved in your life, so that eventually all the same go! I got you with my tears and umoleniyami quit and return to the family, you even stopped to greet me, you ignore my sms-ki, I disappeared, you write that in my place you need a dose, you no longer need love, my caress. I run after you, because somewhere deep down believe in your strength that you can throw that seemed to thaw and come back, I'll take you so what you will become, I put up with the terror that settled in my heart you so no one will love more, because I love you, I, the feeling is so great that I am willing for you to jump into any abyss, to die by your side, and you have all the same, you is not what it was before, you are aggressive, you Do I have to you, or not spit on me stay. Every once in a state of anger, I rented the ring (do you remember the very ring that you gave me on our wedding), and then I dress, I hurt the body is not listening to me, broken phone, because now I do not need it, someone calling me, I alone, is not necessary. I do not want to leave, I do not want a new relationship, somewhere there is my happiness, because hope dies last. You no longer understand the words, you work on instinct alone, and I do not even talk to anyone. I feel like slowly going crazy, do strange things, but certainly can not forget his wife - a drug addict. Just walk away ... just run away ... I can not go ...